My religion
I am not a religious person. I think "spiritual" is also not the word that would define me. I, however, believe (very strongly) in Karma. I believe that if you do good, good will come to you.
My mother always taught me that if you hurt people, steal from people, cheat, then you would not be happy. That God is fair.Over the years I've learnt that life isn't fair, at all. That God is not fair to everyone. I guess thats when I become an agnostic. But, I've never been able to shake away my faith in goodness. I believe that we need to balance the account sheets in this birth. That if you do good, you get paid back with good. If you trouble people, you pay for it in this birth. But, I am beginning to question that too. I don't think that holds either. I know I know these are very immature and childish beliefs and thoughts. But, they've kept me going. They've guided me whenever I've been confused. They ensured I don't tread the wrong path. But, I find myself questioning my relentless belief in doing good.
Now, I know, I am not a saint. I have my fair share of vices. In fact, I am a very difficult person to be with. But, in my defense I never do anything to hurt anyone. I don't hurt people intentionally. I have the pleasure of knowing some real "sick" people. It seems like their mission in life is to create trouble for others, to show people down. And it makes me wonder- why isn't the God of all things good doing something about them? Why don't they ever get paid in the wrong way? Why are they never punished? Why should I be the one who suffers all the time? What have I done wrong?
I must have done something terribly terribly wrong to have people trampling over my feelings? To have someone want to show me down every time? To have someone trying to do and say things that would hurt, intentionally?
What did I do so wrong in life to deserve this? Who did I hurt?
"dil hi to hai na sang-o-khisht dard se bhar na aaye kyun
royenge hum hazaar baar, koi hamein sataaye kyun?"
-- Ghalib
My mother always taught me that if you hurt people, steal from people, cheat, then you would not be happy. That God is fair.Over the years I've learnt that life isn't fair, at all. That God is not fair to everyone. I guess thats when I become an agnostic. But, I've never been able to shake away my faith in goodness. I believe that we need to balance the account sheets in this birth. That if you do good, you get paid back with good. If you trouble people, you pay for it in this birth. But, I am beginning to question that too. I don't think that holds either. I know I know these are very immature and childish beliefs and thoughts. But, they've kept me going. They've guided me whenever I've been confused. They ensured I don't tread the wrong path. But, I find myself questioning my relentless belief in doing good.
Now, I know, I am not a saint. I have my fair share of vices. In fact, I am a very difficult person to be with. But, in my defense I never do anything to hurt anyone. I don't hurt people intentionally. I have the pleasure of knowing some real "sick" people. It seems like their mission in life is to create trouble for others, to show people down. And it makes me wonder- why isn't the God of all things good doing something about them? Why don't they ever get paid in the wrong way? Why are they never punished? Why should I be the one who suffers all the time? What have I done wrong?
I must have done something terribly terribly wrong to have people trampling over my feelings? To have someone want to show me down every time? To have someone trying to do and say things that would hurt, intentionally?
What did I do so wrong in life to deserve this? Who did I hurt?
"dil hi to hai na sang-o-khisht dard se bhar na aaye kyun
royenge hum hazaar baar, koi hamein sataaye kyun?"
-- Ghalib
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